Don't hold back – Marginalian

The only thing more dangerous than wanting to save another person – a dangerous desire that is often mistaken for love – is wanting to save yourself, to avoid disappointment and heartache and loss that cannot be separated from being a creature with hopes and desires that are always in conflict with reality, regardless of time and opportunity, with opposing hopes and longings of others.

Yes, we always build institutions of salvation – religion to save us from our sins, therapy to save us from our trauma, marriage to save us from our loneliness – to save our suffering, which is the price we pay. the fullness of life. And we must fix it, yet there is no greater abandonment than to spend our allotted days in a catatonia of comfort and certainty, our inner lives automated by habit and easily illuminated halogen. To try to save ourselves from the despair we hope for, to avoid fertile doubts and ruminations to wonder about who we really are, is to live a safe distance from life.

That is the Uruguayan novelist, journalist, and poet Mario Benedetti (September 14, 1920–May 17, 2009) explores in his wonderful poem “No Te Salves” – part guilt, part invitation, reminding us that we often break our hearts on the hard edges of our fear of life, parts of us damaged so that they become brittle in the touch of life, the touch of love.

Since I did not feel that the standard English translation captures the urgency and intimacy of the original language, I have retranslated it. It is read here in original Spanish by my friend Karen Maldonado (who introduced this poem to me), in English and Bulgarian by me, and in Russian by my mother (who translated it into our native Russian and Bulgarian language), from Bach Cello Suite No. 4 in E-Flat Major.

NO TE SALVES
by Mario Benedetti

No te quedes inmóvil
the borde del camino
no congeles el júbilo
no quieras con desgana
I can't do anything
Ninja
not salves
not te llenes de calma
no reserves del mundo
sólo un rincón tranquilo
no dejes caer los párpados
pesados ​​como juicios
no te quedes sin labios
no te duermas sin sueño
no te pienses sin sangre
no te juzgues sin tiempo

here we are

pese a todo no puedes evitarlo
y congelas el júbilo
y asks about desgana
y te salvas ahora
y te llenas de calma
y reserves del mundo
sólo un rincón tranquilo
y dejas caer los parpados
pesados ​​como juicios
y te secas sin labios
y te duermes sin sueño
y te piensas sin sangre
y te juzgas sin tiempo
y te quedas inmóvil
the borde del camino
y you save me
a summary
no conmigo.

DON'T KEEP YOURSELF
by Mario Benedetti
translated by Maria Popova

Don't stand still
on the side of the road
don't stop your happiness
do not wish with reserve
don't hold back now
or so
don't hold back
do not be filled with silence
do not fight in the world
there is just silence
do not let your eyelids open
heavy as judgments
do not remain silent
don't sleep before you are ready to dream
don't think you don't have blood
don't consider yourself out of date

but if
after all you can't help yourself
and spoil your happiness
and desire with reserve
and save yourselves now
and fill in peace
and a request from the world
there is just silence
your eyelids droop
heavy as judgments
and remain speechless
until he falls asleep and is not ready to dream
and imagine yourself without blood
and consider yourself obsolete
and stand motionless
on the side of the road
and you are saved
then
don't stay with me.

НЕ СЕ ЩАДИ
Mario Benedetti
Translated by Lilia Popova

I didn't stand still
by the side of the road
не вкаменявай родастта si
не желай неохотно
не се щади сега
and never
don't spare me
не се изпунай с покой
не искай от света samo едно тихо кутче
Don't let your eyelids fall.
heavy as prisdy
не левай беззвучен
не заспивай без снища
ne se missi za bezsilene
не се суди без време

or yours
все пак не ешепеш
and вкамениш родастта si
and неожеш неохотно
and se šchadish sega
and I am satisfied with peace
and iskaš от света само едно тихо кутче
and you can do something,
heavy as prisdy
and нашеш беззвучен
and sleep without sleep,
and you are thinking about them,
and se судиш без време
and stoіш мехожено край патя
and we are sorry
then
не левай с мен.

НЕ ЩАДИ СEBЯ
Mario Benedetti
перевод Лилии Поповой

Не стой тихо на краю дороги
don't hide your joy
не желай с неохотой
не щади себа сейчас
and never
не щади себа
не программы покоем
не проси у мира только тихий уголок
don't let your eyes fall,
heavy, as a sentence
не левайся безмолвным
не усыпай без снов
не думай, что безсилен
don't judge yourself without time

not esli
продажа не сможеш
и загораживаешь свой joy
and всемеш с неохотой
and щадишь себя сейчас and forever
and исполнен покоем
и просиш у мира only a quiet corner
and do something,
heavy, as a sentence
and остаешься безмолвным
and you sleep without sleep
and you think that you are not strong
and you judge yourself without time
and stoіш тихо на краю дороги
and щадишь себа
then
don't stay with me.