The Great Philosopher of Humanity and Psychologist on the Art of Selfless Understanding – The Marginalian

“Experience only makes sense when told,” wrote Hannah Arendt when she thought about how language gives truth to life. “And unless it's meant to be, so to speak, there isn't.” But when an experience is spoken but never heard, part of its truth is cut off and some important harmony is broken. Physicist David Bohm knew this: “If we are to live in harmony with ourselves and nature,” wrote in his excellent and timely book on the communication paradox, “We need to be able to communicate freely in the creative community where no one is holding back forever or defending their opinions in some other way.”

The way to do that is what the traditional philosopher and psychologist say Erich Fromm (March 23, 1900–March 18, 1980) was studied at a 1974 conference in Switzerland, the 400-page transcript of which was eventually converted into a posthumous publication. The Art of Listening (public library).

Listening, Fromm says, “is art like understanding poetry” and, like any art, it has its own rules and norms.” Drawing on his half-century of practice as a therapist, Fromm offers six such guidelines for mastering the art of selfless insight:

1. The basic rule of practicing this art is the complete focus of the listener.
2. Nothing important should be in his mind, he should be completely free from worry and greed.
3. He must have a free-flowing imagination that is concrete enough to be expressed in words.
4. He must be gifted with the ability to empathize with another person and be strong enough to experience another's experience as if it were his own.
5. The nature of such compassion is an important aspect of the power of love. To understand another means to love him—not in the sensual sense but in the sense of reaching out to him and overcoming the fear of losing yourself.
6. Understanding and love are inseparable. If they are separate, it is a brain process and the door to meaningful understanding remains closed.

In the remainder of the The Art of ListeningFromm goes on to detail the techniques, strengths, and psychological concepts that create a holistic listening relationship, in healing and living. Fill it with Ursula K. Le Guin on the magic of real human communication and Alain de Botton on what makes a good communicator, then revisit Fromm on the art of living, the art of love, how to overcome the common laziness of optimism and pessimism, and the key to a sane society.